It's Time to Vent.
For the sake of saving this poor unfortunate soul a lifetime of embarassment, his name has been withheld and his eyes boxed out. (translation: I found this picture by a quick google image search...the alternative was to take a picture of myself with the shirt collar up. NO MA'AM!)
Ok... I have been holding this back for WAY TO LONG! It is time I speak out.
I was driving North on Sheffield the other day when I noticed a 50+ year old woman on the sidewalk walking her dog. It was a beautiful day and a pleasant sight to see while driving home right? WRONG!!! As I observed this woman closer I noticed she was wearing a pink polo and her COLLAR WAS UP!!!! What the hell was she thinking???
This has been going on way to long. This being the Shirt Collar Crisis (SCC). Being a man in my upper 20's I remember in the 80's when it was "cool" to put your collar up. Notice I put "cool" in quotes as I'm not sure it was really ever cool...but for the sake of this argument let's go with it.
Fads happen...I'll admit I poured buckets and buckets of Clorox bleach over my jeans, I jumped on the Livestrong bracelet (until I nearly lost my arm from it) bandwagon and I even proudly wore a permed mullet. One might think it doesn't get much worse than a permed mullet but I have to disagree. Did we not learn our lesson in the 80's with the shirt collar? How have we let the SCC return? And for so long?
It was a good 3-4 years ago when "the gay's" and metrosexuals started flipping their collars....and then it was EVERYONE. I feel as though I should be blaming Abercrombie and Fitch for this but I'm not one to point fingers. (ok...maybe I am but i'm not going to here...we're the idiot's who bought into their marketing efforts). Anyway, from day one I was angered by the view of the uplifted shirt collar. I really wish I could just ignore it but it sends chimicals of hatred throughout my body.
Let's fast forward a year. The SCC was still in full effect. With a trip to Andersonville I noticed that even the lesbians had jumped on the bandwagon. WHAT?????? Lesbian's don't jump on fashion bandwagon's. The only good thing about this was that the gay boys started putting their collars down when the lesbian's started putting them up. Any good fag know's that lesbian's have no fashion sense.
So now here we are in the final stretches of 2006 and I am still seeing people with their collars up. PLEASE! Do me a favor...if you are reading this post....spread the word....or do what i've done too many times.
1. Approach the victim affected by the SCC with a staight face
2. Politely Put their collar back in the normal collar position
3. And say to them as if they had toilet paper attached to their shoe "You're collar was up"
Trust me.....it works. Ask any of my friends who've witnessed me helping the community. My favorite experience happened in Nashville over Easter weekend Ms. Brost can share that story.
at 11:47 AM