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12.26.2005

It's a Small World



First off. I'd like to announce that this is a double de-virginizing entry for me. (I know what your thinking....there aren't many things left that will de-virginize steve) but it's true. This is my first blog entry made from 30,000 feet, as well as my first entry composed entirely on my crackberry....u can thank Ms. Gina for that one. And if you could see who was sitting next to me on this plane....you'd know there are a few other "firsts" I'd like to try. DA-LISH. (Mom, if you are reading this...this would be one of 6548927 reasons why you don’t want to continue reading this site.

So I can't stop thinking about how small of a world it is. No matter where I go, I always bump into people I know when I travel. Some of you may already know that I had to hop an emergency flight home causing me to arrive at midway by 550am the day before I was supposed to fly home. Caffeine-free I was not in the best mood for flying the friendly skies. Midway could have sucked my friendly sky for all I cared...nobody deserves to fly southwest at 6 in the morning without an ounce of coffee. Nobody deserves to fly southwest during xmas period.

Where was I? Oh yea....so never in my right mind did I expect to see 3 friends aboard my flight to Omaha Nebraska. Last time I saw one of these guys at 6am we were still out dancing!

So I an sitting in the floor waiting for the horrific cattle call of a boarding sw has so kindly gotten me used to (yes, I was on the floor) when I noticed a guy I recognized in front of me. To make a long boring story short....it is the guy who introduced Ms. Brost to her former bf of 5 years. During our talk to girl next to me chimes in to tell me she lives 5 houses north of me and is also from my hometown, Sioux City, Iowa.

I could tell story after story but my all time favorite is this....

I am at the airport in NYC for work with 2 work colleagues. We are picking up our bags from luggage claim and getting ready to grab a cab to Manhattan when a limo driver walks up and offers to take is to the city in style. While this sounds great I notice signs on the wall that say not to do this so I try to weasel our way out of it....the next thing I know I am sitting in a limo with 2 work buddies, and a family of 3. One of my colleagues thinks the young boy with his parents is cute and starts to stare. I smack his leg and remind him that this boy is with his parents. After a few more reminder smacks he stops staring.

As we are going over the bridge into the city I look up to notice the boy staring at me. For fucks sake, I thought. I ignore the stare but of course look again after a few minutes pass to see if he is still looking. At this point the boy says, "is your name steve?". I am baffled and cautiously reply..."Yes". At this point the boy flips over his sidekick phone to reveal a black and white picture of me on his phone.

I swear to god time stopped for at least 30 seconds. Me and both of my friends jaws dropped to the bottom of the limo. The boy then said in a chipper voice "you're my friendster!!!". I still had no clue. ..I was positive I had never met this kid before....finally it clicked. "Ian?" I asked. YES!

I indeed had never met this kid in my life...here is how I became Ians friendster....I moved to Chicago and knew very few people....about the same time Jordan moved to LA and began dating this guy named Eric....well Eric had a friend in Chicago and told Jordan to tell me to IM this guy....uhhhh random party of one? I added Ian to my buddy list and after a week or two finally said hello. Yes it was awkward but Ian is an extremely laid back guy who probably thought nothing of it. He invited me to join friendster and we kept talking about how one day we should hang out.....probably 6 months later we met, in the limo in NYC. Who knew he'd be so quick to introduce me to his parents.

So it is a small world, after all!

12.24.2005

Mary Crotchmas!!!



Wishing you a Mary Crotchmas and a Happy New Year!

Hope you all have a wonderful and safe holiday season!

12.23.2005

I-O-W-A Iowa all the way!!!



I - O - W -A Iowa All the Way!!!! What the @#$& does that mean??? One of the random songs I learned as a child and can't seem to forget. The sad thing??? That is only the first line of the song....I know the rest...and the sign language to go with it.

So yeah....greetings from Iowa. Home of....well...ME! I am not sure what else is actually FROM FROM here besides Sioux Bee Honey, which I'm not sure I've ever had.

As I'm feeling not so fun and creative tonight.....instead of reading my babble....i will supply you with some not-so-fun facts on Iowa. GET OVER IT!!! At least you didn't have to live here for 18 years!

---Iowa became the 29th state on December 28, 1846.

---Capital City: Des Moines

---Nickname: The Hawkeye State (It sure beats Illinois....the Bottom state. We could have been less fortunate and been named the Browneye state.)

---Iowa Quarter: Nation’s Only Education Quarter (This wins most boring fact of the year award!!!)

---State Flower: Wild Rose

---State Bird: Eastern Goldfinch

---State Tree: Oak

---State Rock: Geode (Is that crackrock because I had to sign a waiver just to purchase a 10pk of Claritin D???)

---State Car: This is not official but I will dub thee as the 13 year old Rose Colored Cadillac I'm driving around town. HOT!!!

12.21.2005

Jordan Does Chicago



I am very excited to have been asked by Steve to write a guest blog entry. Thank you!!!! What better place to write this lovely entry than from 30,000 feet in the air somewhere between Chicago and Orange County with the Pussycat Dolls song "Don't Cha" playing proudly from my iPod-superior-portable-music-device. Oooops! I need to be careful, my husband has a very successful business selling iPod's and related products. (I'll elaborate on this more in a minute).

Wow! What an amazing 4 days! They went by sooooo quick! Probably because we were sober only about 1/6th of the time - whooops'a'daisey!!
My 97 hours in Chicago was filled with a little sight seeing, pie hole, bar hopping, Brazilians, a little shopping, Brazilians, Coffee hour at the CruzzieBou, dancing at Charlies (that brought back all too many CH memories), welcoming another to the CrackBerry clan, Brazilians, meals at 5am at Melrose Cafe (where a thrown butter packet almost caused the Queer Civil War), Brazilians, Movie Theater (Bareback mountain: 2 out of 5 stars), Brazilians, Bowling league, and pitchers of fluid from Roscoes that didn't taste like they contained booze (side note - they do... I have pictures to prove it)..... If anyone out there in blog land is sleeping, wake up. The next sentence is important: BRAZILIANS RULE!!!!!!! Quenda Mona in the picture above! That was taken at Roscoes during our Long Island incident. I call it an incident because the Roscoes experience concluded with me ball-room dancing with Fabiano on the dance floor. Bless his heart for playing along, I'm sure he was like "what is this crazy Californian making me do?" Also his roommate Marcio and I were married shortly after....on the street, in front of a wedding gown in a shop window. Classy eh? Odd how the party and dance came before the wedding ceremony. Wait a minute....Maybe that is what we (The Gays) have to do in order for The Straights to be comfortable with the marriage issue. Reverse the ceremony and party? Why not? It makes sense to me.... WRITE YOUR CONGRESS REPRESENTATIVE! But all in all, the Brazilians really made my Chicago trip amazing: Fabiano, Marcio my husband, Diego, Sweet Marcio (yes there are two - isn't that Delish?!?!) and all the other Brazilians I met and cannot remember your name because too much booze causes short term memory loss.



Also of importance was the Turkish and Armeanian dispute talks which were held on 12/18/05 at an Irish Pub mediated by non-other than her honor Steve Cole. David and I came to the conclusion that Turks and Armenians can indeed live in harmony regardless of the crud acts many many eons ago. As a jester of kindness, David has agreed to allow the bowling team "Spare Me" resume utilization of the term "Turkey" when an individual obtains three strikes in a row. Thanks David, I'm glad others beside Turks and Armenians are able to benefit from this union.

Lastly, I want to personally thank Miss Brost for becoming un-overwhelemed on Tuesday evening and spending some time with me. Even though I think she was there more to resume her fabulous bowling than see me, we enjoyed each other's company. For Christmas I am going to present her with a book "How Homos Dress". Yes I know it was sub zero and she was layered, but she walked out of her house wearing Blue Jeans ticked in to a white t-shirt with (...gulp...) no belt. At first, this horrible fauxpa was not evident, but as she begin to perspire as a result of her she-woman like bowling skills, she shed her outer layers and the shocking truth was revealed. Her beautiful eyes could only distract me for a few seconds (side note: they truly are amazing....slurp) Me, being the kind person I am, pulled her aside and loaned her my brown leather belt (which I may add matched my Brown leather shoes perfectly). This was a temporary fix to a very tragic scenario. All of us were content with !
the solution - including Bradford. Mike (of the Mike and Ryan duo) witnessed this transformation and felt the need to correct me, as he felt my brown leather belt didn't match my black shirt. Oh well...Mike, I'm guilty as charged (pardon the pun), but at the end of the day, leather is leather...... Right Ryan?

Thanks again everyone, I cannot wait until next time!!!!!! And remember, when things get rough think to yourself "Es' Okay.... Es' okaaaaay!!!!!" [Blink + Smooch].

~Jordan

12.16.2005

Pack yer bags!!!



I am feeling like a little girl on Christmas morning. I would say the countdown has begun but it DONE BEGAN days ago. Aunt QUENDA is coming to town in just over 18 hours!!!!!!! WATCH OUT CHICAGO, it’s going to be a wild and crazy weekend! Can someone put and APB out to the strippers at Madrigals and Cocktail? Jordan will be here in no time!

12.10.2005

Let it Snow, let it snow, let it snow!



We got our first big snow of the year on Thursday and I had no clue it was coming. I went to lunch around 1 that day and the sky was clear and sunny. By the time I got back to the office it had started to flurry. Unfortunately, I work down in a dungeon with no windows. Ok, there are a few windows but it's that REALLY thick glass that you can only see shawdows through. Not so helpful on seeing the snow fall. When I got back to my desk I made a quick visit to weather.com to see what the radar looked like. It showed a snow storm headed directly our way. However, it said it was only going to drop 1-3 inches. These were CERTAINLY NOT AOL INCHES!!!! 3 Hours later there appeared to be a good 5 inches on the ground and it was still coming down HEAVY. I went back to my office and continued to work as I knew traffic was going to be a nightmare. I was correct. I left around 6 and got home around 7. THANK GOD I'm not AB...it took her 4 hours to get home....NO WAY!!!! I live two miles from work. I was thankful for having the wrangler but wished everyone else in the city was also equipped with 4WD. Not so much. I think total snow fall at midway was 11-inches and a plane off the runway.....and more like 8 in my hood.

Anyway, the night turned out to be quite fun. Fabiano, Marcio and I went to Roscoe's to have a couple of pitchers and then made a long walk up to IHOP for a little breakfast. GOOD TIMES HAD BY ALL!!! There is something so awesome about the first big snow of the year.

12.07.2005

Wicked - Front Row



So my buddy Tom came to visit me this past weekend from Philly. He could not have picked a colder weekend to visit. Can I get a MINERVA? Basically.

With it being so cold outside we were limited in things to do. "Limited?" How ironic now that I think of it. Fortunately, Tom did his research prior to his arrival and learned that a couple of hours before every performance of Wicked they action off 20 seats in the front row for $25 bucks. Tom informed me over dinner on Saturday night that we were going to be taking a trip downtown in the morning to put our name into the Witches hat.

He is one lucky bitch!!! They drew 10 names. Tom was #8 for two tickets. Me? Not so lucky...but I was with the lucky bitch!!! ;) When we going to Vegas Tommy?

12.05.2005

A Perfect 10???

Click on the image to find out for yourself!!!

Personally, I think she's Olympic bound....

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