You know you have good friends when they plan an evil plot against you, and then forewarn you of their strategy. I got a phone call from Tammy Delusian this morning to inform me of his evil plan. He told me the next time he, Ms. Brost & I go out...they are going to slip a couple of Norma Jean's in my drink (aka Ambien) and then NAIR one of my eyebrows out.
I honestly was a little scared by the tone of Tammy's voice. She was WAY TOO EXCITED about this. I could not help but bust into laughter...it was too funny!
(please read this next bit sentence as if you had carrie bradshaw's narrator voice) So that made me wonder...What would I look like with a missing eyebrow?)
Thank you photoshop for allowing me to see this HORRIFIC sight.
Tammy & Ms. Brost.....I would do EVIL EVIL things if this "were" to ever happen!!!!!! FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES!!!!
Love,
Steve
3 comments:
DING DING DING…. (Time for Jordan to weigh in).
[BIG Ghetto gurl voice] “FUST OF’ALL….” [finger waiving in the air while swinging my ghetto ass around]
What is this nonsense about unknowingly taking Ambien and drinking while in public? Take it from a sista’ that has some experience in this field – its usually not a good ending. (Please reference my comment at 1:23pm on 10/2805: http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=15428068&postID=113053112622261015 … I believe this story involved narcotics and drinking) As you all recall, it wasn’t a pretty ending [dry heaves].
Second… For those of you who didn’t know, I used to have a uni-brow problem (and in some peoples minds, I still do – if you think that, you should have seen me 10 years ago.) So my first couple of months in college, it was my time to experiment with the ‘new world’ (and yes, this includes experimenting with the helium boots and large objects… ouch ) Well I tried nair’ing my eyebrow, because a dorm-mate of mine, nair’ed his chest on a weekly basis and recommended I try it. “Okay” I thought, I’ll give it a whirl. So I call him and tell him I am going to try it, he said “okay, I’ll come down in an hour or so and see the results.” So I place a decent amount of nair between my eye brows, some on top and a little underneath, in an effort to ‘tame them.’… and then I go back to studying. An hour rolls by, and he comes in my room, to find me with the nair still on my head. He says, “uhhhh, how long has it been there?” I said “About an hour”… “HOLLY FUCK!” He yells as he drags me in to the bathroom urging me to take it off ASAP. Well, it was too late…. Sadly enough, I had badly burned my skin, so bad, that like a crusty sort of scab formed, everywhere that I had placed nair. So there I was, first month of college, trying to do the ‘fraternity’ thing at the same time determine who I was going to sleep with and who played for other team, and I had this crustacean sort of thing on my forhead and eye area. You need a mental image? Imagine me highlighting my eyebrows with red and brown puffy paint – yeah tragic. The worst part, was trying to play it off like nothing happened.
Third… Look at Tammy’s and Ms. Brosts arms! OH LORD, mommy is going to excuse herself for a minute…… Phew, I can’t WAIT to be in Chicago (in exactly 29 days).. Look out, California is coming to Chicago!
Lastly… Don’t fuck with Steve. You piss off Steve, and you piss off the Terk… we know what happens next…
[scary child’s voice] “Heeeeeee’s baaaaaaaaaaaaack.”
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, The turk and steve cole are both going to have ONE eyebrow. You are sisters.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, The turk and steve cole are both going to have ONE eyebrow. You are sisters.
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