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Jordan Does Chicago

I am very excited to have been asked by Steve to write a guest blog entry. Thank you!!!! What better place to write this lovely entry than from 30,000 feet in the air somewhere between Chicago and Orange County with the Pussycat Dolls song "Don't Cha" playing proudly from my iPod-superior-portable-music-device. Oooops! I need to be careful, my husband has a very successful business selling iPod's and related products. (I'll elaborate on this more in a minute).

Wow! What an amazing 4 days! They went by sooooo quick! Probably because we were sober only about 1/6th of the time - whooops'a'daisey!!
My 97 hours in Chicago was filled with a little sight seeing, pie hole, bar hopping, Brazilians, a little shopping, Brazilians, Coffee hour at the CruzzieBou, dancing at Charlies (that brought back all too many CH memories), welcoming another to the CrackBerry clan, Brazilians, meals at 5am at Melrose Cafe (where a thrown butter packet almost caused the Queer Civil War), Brazilians, Movie Theater (Bareback mountain: 2 out of 5 stars), Brazilians, Bowling league, and pitchers of fluid from Roscoes that didn't taste like they contained booze (side note - they do... I have pictures to prove it)..... If anyone out there in blog land is sleeping, wake up. The next sentence is important: BRAZILIANS RULE!!!!!!! Quenda Mona in the picture above! That was taken at Roscoes during our Long Island incident. I call it an incident because the Roscoes experience concluded with me ball-room dancing with Fabiano on the dance floor. Bless his heart for playing along, I'm sure he was like "what is this crazy Californian making me do?" Also his roommate Marcio and I were married shortly after....on the street, in front of a wedding gown in a shop window. Classy eh? Odd how the party and dance came before the wedding ceremony. Wait a minute....Maybe that is what we (The Gays) have to do in order for The Straights to be comfortable with the marriage issue. Reverse the ceremony and party? Why not? It makes sense to me.... WRITE YOUR CONGRESS REPRESENTATIVE! But all in all, the Brazilians really made my Chicago trip amazing: Fabiano, Marcio my husband, Diego, Sweet Marcio (yes there are two - isn't that Delish?!?!) and all the other Brazilians I met and cannot remember your name because too much booze causes short term memory loss.

Also of importance was the Turkish and Armeanian dispute talks which were held on 12/18/05 at an Irish Pub mediated by non-other than her honor Steve Cole. David and I came to the conclusion that Turks and Armenians can indeed live in harmony regardless of the crud acts many many eons ago. As a jester of kindness, David has agreed to allow the bowling team "Spare Me" resume utilization of the term "Turkey" when an individual obtains three strikes in a row. Thanks David, I'm glad others beside Turks and Armenians are able to benefit from this union.

Lastly, I want to personally thank Miss Brost for becoming un-overwhelemed on Tuesday evening and spending some time with me. Even though I think she was there more to resume her fabulous bowling than see me, we enjoyed each other's company. For Christmas I am going to present her with a book "How Homos Dress". Yes I know it was sub zero and she was layered, but she walked out of her house wearing Blue Jeans ticked in to a white t-shirt with (...gulp...) no belt. At first, this horrible fauxpa was not evident, but as she begin to perspire as a result of her she-woman like bowling skills, she shed her outer layers and the shocking truth was revealed. Her beautiful eyes could only distract me for a few seconds (side note: they truly are amazing....slurp) Me, being the kind person I am, pulled her aside and loaned her my brown leather belt (which I may add matched my Brown leather shoes perfectly). This was a temporary fix to a very tragic scenario. All of us were content with !
the solution - including Bradford. Mike (of the Mike and Ryan duo) witnessed this transformation and felt the need to correct me, as he felt my brown leather belt didn't match my black shirt. Oh well...Mike, I'm guilty as charged (pardon the pun), but at the end of the day, leather is leather...... Right Ryan?

Thanks again everyone, I cannot wait until next time!!!!!! And remember, when things get rough think to yourself "Es' Okay.... Es' okaaaaay!!!!!" [Blink + Smooch].



Ms. Brost said...

Ah, my dear, dear, Jordan. It seems as though I not only got my Christmas wish of you responding to some of Steve's blogs in which I'm mentioned (i.e. RENT, Perfect 10), but you've now made picking on poor little, (petite) Ms. Brost a regular activity! Well, I think it's only fair that I respond in a manner to which most of my friends are now familiar -- sweet, and then bitchy. So to begin, it was wonderful to see our dear, masculine-looking (and strangely-attractive) friend from CA, who now can probably recreate every bowling cheer we've ever done at the drop of a hat. I do wish we could have had sushi on Monday night, but alas, this girl is a busy one, and besides, we all know that sushi on Monday is a bad idea, right Davey? Still, we did enjoy our time together and Ms. Brost appreciates all the lovely compliments and support at the bowling lanes. And now onto bitchy. (Boy, that was quick...she must have taken a hit. Ashtrays out and pinky fingers up, girls). Jordan, let's make it clear that I was giving a shout-out to my Armenian gal-pal by donning the tucked-in tee, no belt look. I had to do something when you actually referred to three strikes-in-a-row as something "other than" an ARMENIA. What's interesting is that I'm getting fashion advice from a man who was wearing THE SAME HURLEY SHIRT both times I met him! Ms. Brost never forgets an outfit. A bit of advice, Jordan -- post-holiday sales begin on the 26th. Plan to spend the day. Secondly, when Steve and I take a trip somewhere, we like to do something educational. For example, our NYC trip included a stop to see the "25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee." You might want to check it out -- or at least run your comments through spell check. (It feels so good to help). On a final note, you should consider renaming your entry, "Jordan did Brazil (in Chicago)". Geez lady, did Brazil leave you any presents for Christmas? You might want to have a full-body exam when you get home. And you wonder why Ms. Brost is saving herself for the right man! This cherry has been ripening for four months now...don't you just love it? Don't you just?

Jordan said...

I am SO excited to finally see that Ms. Brost has ‘come out’ to play in blog land. To show my appreciation, I will drop a really quick comment…. then I must run to the Hurley pre-Christmas sale – All Black Hurley T-shirts with a red Hurley symbol over the chest are ½ off. DA-LISH!

Thought for the day: Can someone please take one for the team and give Ms. Brost a “reach-around”? I mean REALLY ladies… I think she needs a little lovin’ in her oven…. And speaking of that – tis’ the season to be ‘baking’… If that cherry can wait long enough, I’d love to “make a cake” in that oven. [ahem]

P.S. Why are you up at 6:40am? Is there REALLY a need to promote booze and alcoholism THAT early in the morning? Seesh.