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Snaggletooth for a Day!

So last night was fun…I was sitting in the kitchen studying Portuguese when I looked down at my thumb and noticed a piece of skin hanging. Yes, this is disgusting…but as a fingernail biter I, without even thinking, gnawed the piece of skin off and began chewing on it. As I’m chewing I suddenly bit down and….”CRUNCH”. What the @#$*??? So what do I do? I spit the material in my mouth out into my hand and observe….

This observation of mine is far from scientific. I easily recognize and label the first bit of material as “the piece of tattered skin from my thumb” and push it aside. I then move on to material B…which I quickly labeled in my head as….”Unidentifiable Material.” It is in a perfectly square piece and looks like an oversized piece of salt. With that thought, I labeled Unidentifiable Material B…as “Oversized Salt Cube.” (Had this observation been even remotely scientific, “Oversized Salt Cube” would have been immediately ruled out as I had not an ounce of salt flavor in my mouth…and we all know that salt…tastes like…well….salt. So I lifted the cube with my left hand pointer finger…and used my right hand to flick the cube across the room. (You may be wondering why I was being so dramatic….because I’m now wondering the same thing.) I remember hearing the cube hit the floor with much more noise than a piece of salt would have made and didn’t think twice about it….back to Portuguese I went.

As I shifted my focus back to studying I rubbed my tongue across my front bottom teeth. *pause* WTF????? It all came together in a flash…..MY TOOTH!!!!

I flew out of my seat and ran to the bathroom to see the damage. I was now missing a fairly large piece of my front bottom tooth. Nooooooo!!! Usually in a situation like this I’d turn to the bottle…but instead….I got on my hands and knees and started searching for “the cube.” For some odd reason….in a matter of seconds… I had determined that finding the tooth and preserving it for the dentist was what I needed to do. WAS I HIGH???? After crawling around the floor for 10 minutes I came to the conclusion that I was SOL and I needed to move on….cubeless.

To conclude….(If I don’t start this paragraph with to conclude I’m going to ramble on for another 5 paragraphs….you would hear about my tears over Steel Magnolias, lunch with Fabiano and the trip to the Apple store….be thankful) Fortunately, I was able to get into the dentist today and I now have a normal looking tooth again. And I’m only down $180 bucks. Just exactly what I wanted to spend my money on.


Jordan said...

Steve’s tooth problem does not come as a surprise to me….

How many times have WE been places (all of us out there in Steve’s blog land) and someone has needed a tool for opening a plastic bag, or to cut a piece of plastic, or something? All of a sudden, swooping down from the sky above, comes Steve. Standing there so butchly with a beam of light shining from above, wearing a huge cape, he proudly proclaims in a super deep voice “Give it to me, I’ll open it”. Thinking he’s going to whip out a super doper pocket tool with 239084 attachments on it…..or a pair of scissors, we hand our stubborn package over to the caped crusader… Without hesitation or the bat of an eye, he holds the package in both hands and begins ravaging it with his teeth like a pack of wolves on fresh meat… Nine times out of ten, he’ll get it in the first try, the other 1 out of 10 times he has to go at it from another angle. For this he throws his cape over it, shielding his actions from the public’s view, and makes strange noises like a jackhammer on concrete or something…. Of course, when he reviles it, the stubborn packaging has ALWAYS been defeated….

One time, I had the nerve to question Steve regarding his actions. I said “HOLY SHIT MAN, THAT HAS GOT TO BE HORRIBLE FOR YOUR TEETH!” His response was uncanny as he replied in a deep booming echoing voice “Never fear my brittle tooth peer, my mother took fluoride pills when she was pregnant with me…..and now…. I AM …..THE TOOTH FAIRY.”

Chris Powell said...

Im currently living in Japan and i lost half a tooth. I went to the dentist (thank god he spoke english) and was told i needed route canal. 5 weeks and 8 visits later i had root canal, four fillings and had a tooth crowned. The good thing was they have great insurance over here ad all 8 visits cost me no more than about 100 australian dollars.

Fame said...