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October 17th - SAY NO TO TWINKS DAY!

So it's been awhile since I last went to the gym. Ok, that's an understatement. It's been a long ass time since I went to the gym. I wasn't quite sure HOW long it was until two days ago when I finally forced myself to get back into the habit. So I walked to the "plex" and had to ask when I got to the counter...."Uhhh, could you tell me when was the last time I was here?" Bless her heart....she probably hears this once a day from pathetic slackers like me. She looked down at the computers and restrained from making a face....although I saw a quick flinch when she noticed the date. She then looked me in the eye and kinda stared....speechless. I said..."Oh God....it was April wasn't it?" And she responded positively "the 30th...that's almost May...the very end of April!!!" I was mortified....keep in mind I'm paying nearly 80 bucks a month for this "membership". i nearly threw up...the way I view it.....Saturday's visit to the gym cost me $395....and got me motivated to start living there again. Oh yeah....she had to issue me a new membership card as THEY'VE CHANGED!!!!! Ugh.

My $395 workout was SO not a good one. It was actually quite disappointing. I had been working out pretty regularly for a year and knew what I could lift....so I cut back on the weight for my return. And cut back some more.....and cut back some more.

I WAS MORTIFIED!!!!! i could barley lift the bar...I turned into a twink this past 5 months. I think I would have rather lost a limb.

So please mark your calendars.....I am please to announce that today is the first annual SAY NO TO TWINKS DAY! No worries....the U.S. Postal Service will run as scheduled.


Shigeo James Iwamiya said...

Steve, you are awesome no matter how many times you go to the gym. :) And, at least you are better than the guys that never go, and let themselves go. :)

Jordan said...

Everyone remembers the first time they learned to ride a bike, drive a car, go on their first date, and even give their first French kiss. I also remember the first time I dabbled in

This is a horror story which Steve and I still talk and cringe about to this day - no it wasn't Steve I dabbled with, but being my best friend, we share everything - including horrible sex stories.

It was my first twink. I thought to myself 'he seems like a nice guy, I'll go ahead and throw it in him'... BIG MISTAKE. I'm going to make a long story short... he asked during our encounter 'is it messy'? (SIDE NOTE: If anyone ever asks you a similar question, and you find it peculiar WHY they're asking you what seems to be a RANDOM question, chances are it is not random, and they know something you don't know....)

Next thing I know, there is shit everywhere. And I'm not talking about a neat little log here and there; I'm talking about green, liquid, toxic smelling, nose hair singing, baby-brand diarrhea.... all over my place. In the bed, on the walls, on the washer and dryer doors, on the bathroom door and all over the toilet seat. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? (sorry, wrong choice of words….) WHAT THE HELL?!?!?! Did I just dabble with a third world country?!?! Nope, he was a twink.

So therefore, it is with great thanks I give to Steve for making Oct 17th SAY NO TO TWINKS DAY…. I can only wait for children in elementary school to learn about TARE – Twinks Ass’s Resistance Education.