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My least favorite brand....EVER!

So I had so much fun with the FedEx Kinko's logo that I thought I'd continue by creating a logo for my least favorite brand EVER!!! Let's talk about Nextel.

So the first time I heard of Nextel was when I "heard" Nextel. I was waiting tables at O'Charleys in Brentwood, TN...I remember hearing this annoying "beep beep" sound coming from a construction man's phone followed by a loud broadcast of his fellow co-worker's day-long itinerary. I must admit...I was intrigued by this technology and wanted to know more. As I paid attention I saw more and more people with these Walkie Talkie like phones. The kid in me was excited about the thought of being able to communicate with a cell phone like it was a childhood toy. However, since I did not have a Nextel phone...nor did any of my friends...the thought of actually owning one of these and being able to use it became unrealistic. I guess this was when I first felt a negative feeling towards the brand. It wasn't that I didn't like the brand....it was that I was jealous I didn't have it. Over time...I began to hear this "beep beep" more and more. And then one day...my BFF Jordan got one. No!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jordan used that thing more than I used my right hand. And with it being so in my face....I began to get more and more annoyed by it's loudness and obtrusiveness. The simple "beep-beep" alone made my skin crawl. Especially after I went to look at phones and pricing plans. They were ridiculously overpriced. There was no way in hell I was going to pay that much more for a cell phone just so I could use the walkie talkie feature. Well...at least that's what I thought. Nextel did a great job of making me recognize every tone and beep it's phones made. Smart move guys. Any one of you reading this that has at one point in your life had a Nextel phone knows exactly what I am talking about. They have like 10 rings they use that are signature nextel rings. Let's say you are in a bar and you're a Nextel customer. If a Nextel phone starts to ring or "beep beep" across the bar...chances are...every Nextel subscriber will reach for their phone. Pay attention. It's sick.

So yeah...i bent over and let Nextel pound me in the ass with no lube. FOR TWO YEARS!!!! Not only did I pay a ridiculous cost to get my phone, and service plan....i agreed to two full years of service. THOSE BASTARDS!!!! While I was getting ripped off....the service worked great....in Nashville. But upon my move to Chicago the hatred for Nextel multiplied by about forty-five million times! I could not get a signal in my house and I dropped on average about 10 calls per day. IT WAS SO ANNOYING!!! It got so ridiculous that I had friends begging me to switch carriers. When I brought this up to Nextel customer service on a weekly basis....they apologized and informed me that it is impossible to have 100% coverage in all parts of the city. They also pulled up some bull-shit statistical information on how I actually dropped only 2 % of my phone calls and that I get way better service than other cell phone carriers would provide me. This only fueled my fire. Just thinking about it makes me want to throw things. In fact...I don't even want to write anymore....I am going to go find something to break.

1 comment:

Jordan said...


I'm sorry, but this post refers to me as a BFF. What IS a BFF? Last time I heard the term BFF was in 6th grade…. And I *believe* my vato (classmate in the California Public School System) informed me that it stood for Butt Fucking Female. If this is true, allow me a slight bit of correction….. I AM NOT FEMALE… (but I do take it up the butt). Perhaps being rammed in the ass by a phone carrier for 2 years w/o lube confuses one about their BFF’s gender… I dunno…

I broomed the NextToworthlesscarrier when their service sucked in CA… and then, out of a horrible scenario, an angel was born… MY BLACKBERRY… {chanting} LONG LIVE THE BLACKBERRY!

And how about a little shout out to my step-sista Aaron – fellow Blackberry WHORE…. Can I get a what what?

Which brings me to my conclusion for today… Could BFF possibly stand for Blackberry Fellow Fruit? If so; Aaron is definitely in and Steve is definitely ill-equipped – with or with those 14”….