Let's talk about Kinko's...

So I made a trip to Kinko's earlier in the week. Not by choice...because I had to get something done for work and I had a short amount of time to drop it off before I made a meeting. As I made this conscious decision to take my job to Kinko's my inside's sank. My memory quickly reminded me of the countless times I promised myself to never put my nerves through the Kinko's experience again. Had this been a personal task I would have opted to take the work late to OfficeMax, the UPS store or hell...find a young Asian boy on the street who would be willing to bind some proposals together.....but this time...late wasn't an option.

Fortunately the one thing consistent about Kinko's is they are ALWAYS oblivious to my presence. I know I can count on that. When I visit Kinko's I feel as though there are 49 too many employee's behind the counter doing everything but helping me. They crack jokes, yawn, watch the clock tick and bitch about the customer who was lucky enough to get serviced before me. SERVICE THIS KINKBLOW'S! I'm through.

July 2005

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A man named "Onestone"....

I don't know if it's because it's so early in the morning and I'm easily amused...or if this is this funny......either way....enjoy....
There once was an (American) Indian whose given name was "Onestone", so named because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!" The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone."

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

What is the moral of this story?????............................

OH, come on...take a guess!

And the moral is....You can't kill two birds with one stone.

Steve vs. Jordan

The fun has begun.....check back daily....

A man named Jordan.....

What can I say about Jordan??? He's an amazing character.....the one guy who can make me laugh even in when I'm in the worst of moods. Many of you have probably seen his "comments" to my blog entries.....Christ....half of you have told me your read my blog soley for HIS comments....ok...well maybe just one of you...but you know....Exaggeration is much more exciting to read.

So here he is......as I'm writing this I've yet to decide which picture of him I am going to use....but if I know me....it will be a picture he HATES me for posting....I will call it now....he is going to threaten our friendship on removing this photo.....and when I don't...he will hack my site until the photo is removed.......With that said.....LET IT BE ANNOUNCED....."that's what you get GINA for trying to steal the spotlight of my blog!" ;) You know I love you...OH MY GOD......it's about to happen.......Ladies and gentleman....please click the photo below to see the video of the one.....the only.....GINA SHANTEL SHAMONE!!!!!!!!!

Calling Mr. Tale.....Mr. Cock Tale!!!

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Janelle is Gone....it's a sad sad day...

So it finally happened. Janelle has been evicted from the Big Brother House. The nerd herd prevailed. :( At least she kept the show worth watching until the end. And we're left with Maggie and Ivette. Gross. How did that happen? Oh that's right....Howie messed everything up weeks ago...

It's 2am and I'm just winding down from a busy night at XO. Thank you Big Brother for getting me all wound up again!

It's bedtime...I've got to be in Grant Park for the AIDS Run & Walk in 4 hours. It should be a fun day!

Chicago MPG - Grand Champions!!!

Wow....what a GREAT weekend we had in Milwaukee. Aaron and I arrived on Friday afternoon and met Bob and Tom at the host hotel. The rest of the team showed up during the next couple of hours as we had a few drinks and shot the shit. Round-Robin games started on Saturday morning at 8am. For some reason it seems we always get the 8am draw...I ended up pitching the entire weekend and had a good time with it. It was the first time in MPG history that we've won a tournament. We've gotten good at taking 2nd and 3rd....but never 1st. We went undefeated in bracket play and faced Toronto in the Championship game to finish the tournament.....we owed it all to one thing.....LUCKY SOCKS.....see the entry below for more....

Ken and Steve sporting their "Lucky Socks"

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This Week is Going to Suck!

This week is going to suck....BIG TIME. Fortunately, I will be rewarded at the end of the week with a trip to Milwaukee for a softball tournament. Why it sucks....

MONDAY
Day Job - 8:30am - 5pm
X/O Job - 5:30pm - midnight-ish?

TUESDAY
Day Job - 8:30am - 5pm
Bowling League 6:30pm - 9pm
Tivo'd Big Brother - immediately following bowling

WEDNESDAY
Day Job - 8:30am - 5pm
X/O Job - 5:30pm - midnight-ish?

THURSDAY
Day Job - 8:30am - 11pm
Tivo'd Big Brother immediately following work.

FRIDAY
Day Job - 8:30am - 5pm (unless I can get out a couple of hours early)
7:05pm BREWERS GAME

SATURDAY-SUNDAY
Softball Tournament (I am going to miss you Connie!!!)
he he he....Hello Kitty!!!
When am I going to get to watch Big Brother?!?!?!?!?! Ahhhhhh!!!!

CMSA Awards Party

So even on my day off I got roped into being at X/O. Today was the 2005 CMSA Softball Awards Party...held at none-other than....X/O Chicago. I was disappointed my team didn't show up to celebrate our 3rd place victory but I had a good time none-the-less. Livio joined me for the festivities and I got to see some faces I haven't seen in quite awhile. I probably won't be posting much over the next week as I have to work a lot at X/O in addition to the day job. I'm not complaining as I could use the extra cash for my trip to Milwaukee this weekend. MPG and some boys from the Philly Woody's team are meeting in Milwaukee to play in a NAGAAA tournament. Should be fun!!!!! Woohoo!!!! Expect some pictures!

X/O Chicago

T minus 32 minutes......WHY GOD!?!??! WHY!?!?!?!? I have to work at X/O in 32 minutes.....31 now. Last night was painfully miserable. I worked at the day job from 8:30am until 5pm....and then X/O from 5:30pm until 1am. It was a slow and unprofitable night. Let's hope tonight goes better. After work I went to Livio's to meet his two best friends.

27 minutes....shower time!

The Drink Is the Devil.

Wow....I think I have finally recovered from my drunken blur of a birthday. I had a BLAST!!!! (I think) I took a half day off at work and had bleacher seats for the Cubs. vs. Braves game. For those of you who don't know me very well....I loathe the Braves. Fortunately, I was surrounded by Cubs fans (this time) and didn't have to verbally abuse any Braves fans. I must admit....it was one of the most tame experiences I've had in the bleachers. The last few times I have sat out there...I had to double check and make sure I was at the MLB and not the WWE (why can't it still be WWF?)

ADVICE....if you plan to do the day game bleachers and drink yourself into oblivion....do yourself a favor and WEAR SUNSCREEN!!! I don't know how many people told me that prior to game day....of course I didn't listen....my mother would be so proud!

Ivey's Visit to Chicago

So the vacation is coming to an end but I must say...it ended with a bang. It had been two years since I last saw Ivey (my "Grace" if you will). I finally talked her into flying up here to visit me for my birthday. She flew in on Friday night at 9pm and flew out this morning at 725am. A quick trip but we made each and every minute last. It was the best present she could have gotten me. After two years it was like we didn't skip a page....I look forward to seeing her again! OH YEAH!!! She brought her new boyfriend of two months with her....his name is Travis....I APPROVE!!

Toronto

Who thought I'd start a blog while on vacation in Toronto??? Not me!! I've been in Canada for 2 full days and am LOVIN' THIS CITY!!!! It is way smaller than I expected it to be but the people here are amazing and BEAUTIFUL! Full of ethnic people....I LOVE IT!! Now only if I could find one to marry.

Anyway, that is all for now.....just wanted to get something started.